Friday, 29 June 2012

Random thingos

Yeah... this is just another "whatever I feel like writing" post. 
slept at 5am, woke up at 4pm today. My sleep schedule is extremely fucked up. Why. Why do I do this to myself!??!? Oh yeah, and I have no broadband until the 17th of July.. fml. 
...
No more watching documentaries/anime online for over 2 weeks =/ so bloody boring, can't sleep.
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Lulz, haven't drank in 7 days since that Friday where it was.. 7.5 shots of vodka, 1 cider, 1 double black. Oh yeah, about that- felt perfectly fine for the most part, I think it's really hard for me to get completely wasted and I don't experience the Asian flush at all. Yay for genetics :D My body simply "rejects" any excess alcohol so yeah, it's all good ^^. Would have drank more if I didn't have to go home to my parents =/
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Sigh, can't wait to move out. To a flat with access to gym and pool/spa facilities. Ooh yeah, that'd be so awesome. Squats whenever I feel like. 
..
Also, watched the Google I/O at 4am last night. Wow... $200 for a 7-inch, 720p, quad-core tablet =O HOLY SHIT. Also, wow, Google Glass. Look it up, looks weird but awesome at the same time. It's like having a camera attached to your eyes :)

Random things found on my phone:
Pizza =D =D =D
New G400 gaming mouse next to old crappy mouse. The difference in performance is very noticeable.
 What I use to play LoL nowadays.
 Korean BBQ. meh, too many spicy things =[

Saturday, 16 June 2012

Yeah. Fucked up... sort of.

Hmmm.. exams are all over. Did pretty well for stats, did ok for microeconomics. Shit, fucked up that management and accounting D: like holy fucking shit, got owned so bad, questions were the ones I didn't really prepare for... Guess for WAM.... 70-75%? Sigh... only goes downhill from here.
My life.

Moving on... well.. 4 weeks of holidays. What do?!?! Watch movies, watch anime, work out, go places, drink, play games.. sigh. Am I missing something? Did I mention drinking? Yeah man, haven't had a drink in over TWO WEEKS. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.

Yeah.
....
....
....
28 year old Peter going to have some real big problems.. :)


I LOL'd.
Oh yeah, watched Prometheus today (or should I say last night). A decent but weird film... not scary at all despite the trailer. And.. holy shit, got to watch the BATMAN TRAILER ON THE BIG SCREEN.
So.. fucking... epic.

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

That sinking feeling and self-hatred

I am mentally weak.
I am emotionally weak.
I cannot control myself.
I cannot control my emotional impulses and my actions.

I am only human... no. shut the fuck up and stop making excuses you piece of shit.

Urgh... They say your harshest critic is yourself. I guess that's probably true. Do you ever get those moments when your heart/chest/stomach has this sinking feeling?
The feeling that pretty much says "YOU. ARE. SO. FUCKED."? That's how I feel right now.

My first memory of this horrible feeling was during high school. Being the dumbass I was back then, I decided to do something really really stupid. While the teacher was away from the classroom (and I knew she wasn't coming back for a while), I pulled out my USB and played counterstrike on her computer in front of the whole class..

Then when she came back I quickly tried to hide my actions but the computer crashed and could not boot up. There was HSC work on that computer... This particular teacher then became very worried, saying things like "what the fuck have you done!?!?".. So she tried booting up the computer but it would not work.

That sinking "YOU. ARE. SO. FUCKED." feeling was so fucking horrible during that time.. thinking of the possibility of ruining a HSC student's work and getting my ass kicked.

But then the day after I found out that the computer had been fixed and everything was good, no damage done ^_^
Moral of the story: don't mess with shit you aren't familiar with.

..

So that leads me to right now, where I'm having that sinking feeling right now. Why?
A simple lack of self-control.

My unwillingness and inability to control myself and my actions/emotional impulses at a critical time such as this. Wasting time on meaningless and trivial things (such as... this... how ironic.) when I should really be focused on nothing else but studying my ass off for the finals.

Finals which start in under two days. Finals that I am hopelessly unprepared for. Hence, the current "YOU. ARE. SO. FUCKED." sinking feeling in my heart/chest/stomach and my self-hatred.

100% of my non-formal , non-athletic "everyday" shoes are from onitsuka tiger.
I might have problems..
but.... they're so nice D:

Saturday, 2 June 2012

Officially an adult.

I feel happy and not so happy at the same time, but mostly happy... for now.
Happy that:
*I went drinking legally at licensed venues
*ate a part of 1 metre + 0.5 metre pizzas where my share of the bill was very kindly shouted
*went to karaoke and sang cool, manly songs like "call me maybe" and "what makes you beautiful" :p
*security guards said "happy birthday" after checking my ID LOL
*spent the evening with good friends eating good pizza, drinking good drinks and singing good songs (then molina randomly showed up out of nowhere during our karaoke session lol..)

My parents did not rage at all when I got home.They just said something along the lines of "now that you're an adult, you have more privileges but also more personal accountability/responsibility. Don't do stupid shit, the consequences are much greater now." Did not mention one bit about my possible drinking at all.

Yay! I guess...........

Did I mention the one metre pizza? <3

Well... the downside:
*got pretty much zero work done today. stats final exam in less than one week D:
*felt sick at times. almost 5 standard drinks in less than 50 minutes on an empty stomach is very very bad idea.
*my liver got its ass kicked
*worried about the security of my passport constantly (shit is expensive and time consuming to replace)
*the karaoke place did not have payphone by maroon 5 #firstworldproblems
"tooheys is diversifying into the apple juice market" 
 Beautiful view, very good pizza. quality AND quantity
why? because it's a very catchy song ^^ (it's call me maybe if you can't tell)
Life's good :)